As we all countdown to Tamagawa Hanabi, here is another Tommy Cooper joke for you, typical dry British humour … enjoy !

This guy was on safari in Africa when he came across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress. He investigated and found a thorn in the elephant’s foot. Quickly he removed it, and the elephant trotted merrily away.

Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by. When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him.

It was a different elephant !

Tommy Cooper

So I knocked on the door at this Bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said:

‘What do you want?’

I said, ‘I want to stay here’. 

She said, ‘Well stay there’ and shut the window.

  So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me …

  ‘Can you give me a lift?’

  I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it!’

The other day I rang up my local swimming baths and said  ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’

The bloke said  ’It depends where you’re calling from.’